


I'll Sing the Blues and Swallow Them Too

by Applefall



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, M/M, suicide references, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 19:03:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2592803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applefall/pseuds/Applefall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete's written Patrick many love songs over the years, except Patrick never realized they were about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Sing the Blues and Swallow Them Too

**Author's Note:**

> not spellchecked or grammar checked but what ever.

**Take This To Your Grave - Saturday**

It wasn't a romantic song by any means, or even identifiable as a love song. Pete had only known Patrick for a year before he wrote the song, confessing his stupid little crush over the kid that was five years younger than him. Patrick wasn't his type, not at all. He was all too pale and soft, baby fat clinging to his hips and the beginnings of sideburns on his cheeks. He had strawberry blond hair and the most beautiful eyes Pete had ever seen. The fact that he wore argyle sweaters and trucker caps made him all the more adorable.

But Patrick was shy, Pete quickly found out. After a while he'd gotten use to Andy and Pete and Pete had found out he was pretty talkative. He'd always been closest to Joe, having known him the longest, but Pete began spending more time with Patrick. Soon they were inseparable.

_Me and Pete, in the wake of Saturday._

Patrick had quirked an eyebrow at the verse, and Pete had shot him a grin. It was really the first beginnings of Pete's newfound crush on Patrick, and the song expressed, at least in Pete's opinion, the fact he wanted to be with Patrick forever.

**From Under The Cork Tree - Sugar, We're Going Down.**

Pete was crushing harder than ever on Patrick, with his stupidly long sideburns and his stupid glasses. The way he trembled before shows and the way he rolled his eyes was starting to get to Pete. Pete's heart would beat faster when Patrick sat next to him, their heads together and listening to music or working on songs. Pete's hands would tremble when Patrick propped his feet in his lap, laptop resting on his belly. Patrick never noticed, too absorbed in the music to.

Onstage Pete clung to Patrick, kissing his cheek or his neck. Patrick would always turn a violent shade of red and Pete would dance away with his bass, laughing.

And then Patrick got a girlfriend. Pete sulked for days, refusing to speak to anyone. After about a week Patrick had had enough and shouted at Pete for ten minutes. The worst thing was when Pete had caught the two of them together, Patrick pressing her to the wall and licking up her neck. Pete's heart had twisted and his head had filled with jealousy. That was supposed to be him. One night Pete found himself in a parking lot, clutching a bottle of Ativan and wishing for death. Somehow he managed to dial Patrick.

Patrick saved his life that night.

_Oh, don't mind me, I'm watching you two from the closet, wishing to be the friction in your jeans._

No one suspected the song was about his best friend.

**Infinity on High - G.I.N.A.S.F.S**

It had taken weeks of denial before Pete could admit it to himself. He was hopelessly in love with Patrick Stump.

Patrick was still with his girlfriend, it'd been three years now. Pete desperately tried to be happy for the two, to muster smiles when Patrick spoke about her, to wave at her when she was backstage. It hurt, it hurt so much. Pete spent most of his days now in his room, either writing furiously or thinking about what there was left to live for. Whole notebooks were full of raw lyrics about Patrick and the way he was breaking Pete's heart.

_I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes._

It was true, Pete had stolen some of Patrick's shirts he no longer used, savoring the faded scent of Patrick at night.

**Folie a Deux - What a Catch, Donnie**

Pete was worse. Patrick was worse.

Patrick had broken up with his girlfriend. Pete couldn't bring himself to be sympathetic, not after eight years of waiting. Patrick called him a selfish asshole and Pete had called him a fucking idiot. Patrick had gained weight since his break up, putting on a ton of weight. Pete could hear him sniffling in his bunk at night, crying over the remarks people made about him and his weight. Hardly anyone cared about his talent anymore, it was all about his weight gain.

Pete had given up on Patrick ever realizing that he was in love with him. He repressed the feelings, only letting it out in the form of words. Patrick and Pete were growing apart, and it was only a matter of time before they announced their indefinite hiatus.

_I've got troubled thoughts, and the self esteem to match, what a catch._

The song applied to both him and Patrick, but Pete wrote the words for Patrick.

**Believers Never Die - "From Now On We Are Enemies"**

They released their greatest hits album a few months after they broke up. Andy suggested the idea of bonus tracks, and Pete and Patrick had grudgingly agreed. They met to work on the songs together, but it wasn't the same. The two argued the whole time, snapping at each other at the slightest mistake. The whole time in the studio was chilly and upsetting. Pete ran out twice one week, shoulders shaking with sobs. They managed to record the songs without murdering each other. Pete never said it aloud, but he thought this was one of their best recordings. His once best friend became so emotional while singing "From Now On We Are Enemies" that tears rolled down his cheeks, his voice ringing, soulful and rich. Patrick had wiped the tears away quickly, sniffing once.

_Composer but never composed, singing the symphonies of the overdosed._

Pete wrote the songs for Patrick, who sang his symphonies.

**Save Rock and Roll - Save Rock and Roll feat. Elton John**

The day they had gotten back together Pete had cried. Patrick cried a bit too as they hugged, apologies spilling from their lips. It was something out of a cliché movie, but Pete didn't mind. A few months passed before they were their usual selves around each other, Pete forgetting the idea of personal space and Patrick on GarageBand every waking moment. It was nice, but they were all different. Pete had a kid now. Andy was quieter. Joe wasn't much of a stoner anymore. Patrick had undergone a whole transformation. The day Pete had met with him again he had gaped. Patrick was still short, but the weight he'd had a few years before was gone. There was a slight pudge, but it was more or less the same as when he had been 16 years old. His hair was blonder, only traces of the strawberry there. It had faded and returned to it's normal color before long, but Pete couldn't help but notice it. Patrick wore tighter clothes, something Pete was delighted to see.

And when they wrote together like it was 2002 all over again, reading each others minds.

_I cried tears you'll never see. So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be._

Patrick had turned to him after he wrote that down, eyes soft. "I know." Patrick whispered, a sad smile on his lips. "It took me way too long to realize it, but I know." And then his lips were on Pete's, and Pete was melting into him.

"Twelve years. twelve years, you asshole." Pete had cried into Patrick's shoulder a few minutes later. He'd waited for twelve years and was finally getting his reward.

 


End file.
